Coleman Coolers

Katya and I moved into our new place a short while ago, and because all of our furniture (including my beloved flat-screen HDTV) is in storage, I decided to buy a used TV. I found a 36" Sony Trinitron HD TV from 1999 for $30!

These TV's were the pioneers of HD television. Although they are only 13 years old, they were the last of the big, boxy TV's that were sold before the slim-cased flat-screens took over.

I went to visit the guy who was selling his TV and checked this monster out. The screen resolution was still crystal-clear perfect, but what blew me away was the sound! The large speakers that run along the screen have rich bass and clear treble, and sound like a movie-theater. For $30 all of this was mine!

Except that the TV weighs more than 200 lbs!!

I can hoist and manhandle up to 100 lbs, but this TV was a monster! My uncle and I together could barely lift it, and by the time we got it into his SUV, and then up 4 flights of stairs to the second story where our new flat is, we were both bruised and had partial hernias. It took us nearly 30 minutes just to manhandle the thing up the stairs and into my new living room.

This massive television was now on my floor, where it made watching it difficult and the amazing sound probably annoyed the hell out of my downstairs neighbors. I decided to lift it up onto the only furniture-like thing we currently have: a Coleman Cooler.

I am a huge fan of Coleman products. Years ago my friends and I used to take annual canoe trips down the Saugeen River in central Ontario. Between 8 and 12 people would go, with two persons per canoe. The trip lasted 3 days and involved pulling over to camp in the woods at night. Some years the river was high and the weather warm, and we could swim and get a tan. Other years we would be bundled in sweaters the entire trip. One thing that did not change, however, was that our canoes were always stuffed with Coleman Coolers.

One year my canoe flipped (due to the two drunk idiots in it) and all our clothes, food and beer went floating down-river in Coleman Coolers. After we got ourselves back in our canoe we went through a series of rapids, got chased by cows and ended up nearly going over a hydro-electric dam, but at the end of it all we found all four of our coolers bobbing gently in a small pool at the edge of the river. Every piece of clothing was dry and every bottle of alcohol was unharmed! Rapids and dams and cows couldn't harm these coolers! I've been a loyal customer ever since.

Back to today, and my beast of a television is perched nicely atop my sturdy Coleman Cooler. I'm sure the cooler wasn't designed to be a load-bearing device, but until we get our furniture back, that's what it is, and it's doing a great job of it, too!


  1. Nate I'm sorry. I love your blog, and this post is hilarious, but the Cyrillic letters for the title HAVE TO GO.

    1. Actually, you're not the first person to say that!


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